good start on gifts

Between games and while lounging around with my teammates at the hockey tournament, I got a good jump on my holiday knitting, which, by the way, is now part of Alison's Holiday Knit-a-long.

My teammates gazed on as I brick patterned the poncho until I ran out of yarn (one ball finished!! Yay! Three more to go.).

Then I picked up the sock yarn and cast on "with Pickup Sticks" as one teammate teased - sock is now going nicely. I realized a little bit into the ribbing that it's going to be quite difficult to get both socks to look the same. It's self-patterning yarn, and sadly it doesn't seem that the two balls I bought start at the same part in the pattern.

Maybe Dobby's single-sock fashion trend will start to catch on...? (The fuzz in the picture is Zeke, who is currently very grumpy due to the appearance of a new food that is supposed to make him feel better since he's been showing symptoms of being allergic to his regular food. He has been eating around the new kibbles and crying a lot.)

And that reminds me - I finished Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire last night! This is certainly worthy of being mentioned on knitting day since there is so much knitting in the HP books (and movies!) and since now that I'm not reading about Harry on the bus, I can knit on the bus. Those Christmas presents should be done in no time (in theory)!

the tournament

I have just returned from the Strongsville Tournament! Unfortunately the team didn't do so hot, but I think it was a good experience for us - we were playing against teams that I know we have the potential to match or beat, but we (at least I) haven't been training with that in mind. I had a pretty good time, which is always what's most important, I think. Brett Hull, one of my favorite hockey players, once said, "If you can't play with a smile on your face, something's wrong."

The tournament left me a) hungery and b) tired. To satisfy my hunger, I went to my all-time favorite pizza place, Donatos, which hasn't existed in my neck of the woods for about 7 years, and ate nearly an entire medium pizza on the drive back to Pittsburgh from Strongsville. ! Back in Pittsburgh, I entered the house, put the rest of the pizza in the refrigerator, and fell asleep for three hours, during which time I had a dream that Mickey Mouse played on my hockey team.

a few funnies and a lesson

This weekend the hockey gals and I head out to Strongsville, Ohio, for a tournament. I was checking out the tournament website and found that one of the teams is called the Florida Beaches. I kept wondering in my head why in the world a team would want to have such a stupid name. Beaches aren't ferocious...they don't DO anything... Finally I said the name out loud and realized why it was accepted as the name for a women's team. Call me Slow.

The second funny things is that I finally found that Disco yarn I had lost. Last night about about 11 I realized that I need to go into work on Sunday night, thus I will need my access card...and I haven't been able to find THAT for several weeks, either. Thus began my search through my bedroom, my home office space, my mail pile, and my purse. As I was searching for the card I ran across tons of other things I've been wondering about...a knitting gauge ruler...my savings account record book...some lip balm...and the yarn! In the end, both the yarn and the card were in the places I thought they would be, although I know I had looked in those places for those items several times before and couldn't locate them. Now I have more yarn and am happy. And I have my access card and can work late. Not exactly HAPPY, but useful.

This afternoon I went to the PhD thesis defense of a classmate named Mike. I was very struck when his advisor said that Mike always had an optimistic attitude throughout his graduate career. It didn't surprise me that Mike did this, since he's such a happy and upbeat person. But it's also because he is always a happy and upbeat person that I was so surprised - I would never have guessed that his work had been frustrating and fruitless until January of this year!! What a lesson for me... I often advise people with that old saying "attitude is everything," but I very infrequently heed my own advice. My current attitude at work is that it's never going to work and this is a stupid project and why can't I have picked an easier thing to study. Mike would look at the situation and say "Here's a problem. I need to work that out. Go." So...c'mon, Ruth -- GO!

i need your help: desktop vs. laptop

With the predoctoral fellowship I received earlier this autumn, I have been allotted money for a computer. I purchased a new laptop computer two years ago and thus don't have an exceeding NEED for a new one, but it would be nice to not have to transport the lappy back and forth between work and home. So I'm considering using the money to get a new one.

On the one hand I'd like a second laptop. It would be newer, so it could conceivably replace the one I have now when (if is more like it, I hope) it goes caput. I could keep the second laptop at work and then bring it to the places on campus where I would use a laptop - for presentations, mostly. I suppose I could also use it in the library, but I never go to the library anyhow. One thing the new guy would have that the current laptop doesn't have is a built-in wireless internet connection. That would be useful for those trips to the library or for at a scientific meeting where they usually end up having free wireless. I would want it to be rather small to aid in portability.

But on the other hand, a desktop would allow me to get more for the money. Obviously it wouldn't be portable, but it could have more memory, be faster, potentially have a DVD burner... Not that I really have much need for that. But...it would be nice, right?

I'm way confused. I want to make a good selection that will last me for several years to come. However, perhaps my current laptop will last me for several years to come! I haven't had any issues with it yet (knock on wood).

Oh, the wondrous readers of my blog, though you be few and far between, what thinkest thou? I like Compaq computers - but have you had a great experience with another manufacturer? The University can buy me a Dell or a Gateway for cheaper than the average person would have to pay.

uuuugh - work

Ah, work. I don't know what I'd do without some type of work, but there are many a moment when I would rather be in a different type of work than the current type.

The new "developments," if you would like to call them that, at work are as follows:

• It appears that the protein blots I've been using to try to detect protein in the gut of mice were not working at their most sensitive level due to ancient reagents. This is semi-good news in that it is possible that all the negative data I've gotten since July is actually positive data if the experiments were to be performed with new reagents. The bad news is I need to do all those experiments with the new reagents. Not too terrible, but annoying. I sure hope that this gives me something useful!
• The mice I've been immunizing for the past couple months have absolutely no immune response. The leading theory on why not is that the adjuvant that we are using is crappy. I have my doubts, but since when does my opinion count? I don't have a very good alternative hypothesis, either.
• Another theory about why we don't get good immune respones to our vaccine is that our delivery vector contains so many of its own proteins that the vaccine protein that it is delivering is in too small a quantity for the body to see enough of to make a decent immune response. Thus, I will soon be starting a new set of vaccinations in which I compare the response to the protein itself versus the protein with the vector. I've often wondered what would happen if we immunize with just the protein, but it's never been done in our lab. I'm happy to finally be able to do it.
• Currently I am testing mice to see what happens to the natural bacteria in their gut when we feed them antibiotic and then our vaccine vector, which is also a bacterium. I think that nothing will happen - that the vector won't colonize and start showing up in the feces, but...we'll just have to wait and see. I hope it does what I expect, otherwise we've got a couple extra issues on our hands with the whole vaccine thing.

So, if you were interested in an update on my work, there you have it. And update on my Sims: I haven't visited them much recently. Too busy or too knitting. Adam did manage to head off to college, though, and he is now a sophomore majoring in something like mathematics, I think, and keeping up an A+ average. Go him! He blew all his scholarship money on clothing, which was sort of stupid and could have gone instead to rent for non-dorm housing. Oh well.

Back on the homefront, Jimmy and all the gals are trying to make and keep friends so Jimmy can get a promotion at work. When he and Mackenzie got married, they had 17 family friends. Now, between the six family members in the house, they have a combined total of 8 friends - and one of them is Adam!! That shows you what happens when couples have babies...good-bye friends!

knitting lessons and a second chance

I finished the scarf that will soon be shipped to my friend Angie in Colorado! I want one, too! But let me tell you something: knitting scarves is BO-RING!! I can easily see where people who learn to knit and then are shoved a ball of yarn and told to make a scarf would become thoroughly discouraged. It's not difficult by any means, but it sure is tiresome and not very exciting or daring. I am quite glad that my first project was NOT a scarf, because I probably would not have liked knitting so much.

However, even if I would have made a scarf at the get-go, I would probably have given knitting a second chance. I gave a yarn store a second chance. Remember when I had that bad experience where I felt extremely pressured to purchase yarn that was way out of my budget? Well, I considered staying away from that shop forever, but when I found out that the owner was a friend of a friend, I realized I should trudge back on in. So I set out - with the intention of really buying something - accompanied with birthday money and a desire to purchase yarn for friends for Christmas presents (some scarves, even, knowing that I don't need to make them in totally yawn-inducing garter stitch). I walked out with two types of sock yarn, some multi-colored natural-ish hued yarn for a poncho for a friend, more furry yarn for presents, and some fun tweedy pink for a sweater for me.

I am forcing myself to bury away the tweed until I've finished Christmas presents and the Starry Night sweater (which got zero work done on it this week) and I've given a bit more attention to the Aran pullover. I'm also saying adios for a while to the Brown Sheep Wildfoote purple sock yarn - will eventually become a pair for me! - and am instead going to focus on the Fortissima Colori Socka self-patterning yarn to make a pair of multi-colored socks for someone special for Christmas. I started a swatch with it yesterday and can tell I'm going to enjoy this yarn! I might have to go and buy some for me... (Note, this would give me a pair of many-colored socks that indeed WOULD go with many things and would thus expand my outfit options when I am down to the bottom of my sock drawer!) But not until after I've also finished the poncho, which will take some doing since I need to figure out what sort of stitch pattern I like for it. In the meantime, I also intend to squish out a couple scarves for gal friends from some furry and metallic something-or-other yarn I bought plus some Disco that I got for free in the mail and forgot I had until yesterday. I actually have a gigantic spreadsheet of what I'd like to knit for many different friends, relatives, and co-workers...but I think I won't be able to finish even half of them, so I'm not making any actual gift goals. If I get that poncho and even one sock (not the whole pair...) done, I'll be happy.

Do you know anyone who takes a day or two off work each holiday season to spend the day baking? I'm thinking I might need to do that for this gift-knitting.

a goose egg

My hockey team and I travelled to Kent, Ohio, this weekend for a game against the Kent Twisters in one of my favorite rinks, the Kent State University rink. In truth, the rink's facilities really stink - for example, the locker rooms are ucky and half of them are up a flight of steps. But, I love the charm of the place. All full of old wood, paneled walls all over, and my favorite part is the amazing fire place in the middle of a sunken sitting area.

Good news - we won the game after a very long fight. The game was scoreless until the middle of the third period. We managed to score a second goal, and thus we ended up winning AND I got a shut-out. Hooray!! It wasn't the toughest of games I've ever played, but keeping mentally in the game was a struggle. It's hard to stick with it sometimes, especially in a long game, which this certainly felt like.

Yay for us, team!! We head to Strongsville, Ohio, this coming weekend for a tournament. Lots of games, lots of competition. Lots of fun???

socks

Is it bad when you select your day's wardrobe based solely on the color of the only pair of clean socks you own?

On the schedule for this evening:

• do laundry
• knit scarf
• read some more of "The Goblet of Fire"
• attempt to do all three at once

Oh, and since I entitled this post "socks" I should mention that I'm considering learning how to knit socks. Might go sock-yarn shopping this weekend with some birthday money.

feeling sad twice, once for no good reason

(I cheated a little and actually finished this on November 4, but I wrote most of it on the 2nd and 3rd so dated it as such)

So this might be a little long and not make a whole lot of sense, but bear with me...

Yesterday I mentioned some thoughts inspired by coffee on the bus. ...Let us look in at the scene: A tired but cookie-filled young woman sits semi-sulkily on the bus holding a cup of coffee in one mittened hand and a journal article about a new anti-viral drug in the other. Her stop is coming up, so she stuffs the article into her huge purse - she hasn't really been understanding the words her eyes passed over anyways. The bus stops. A young man enters the bus. He is wearing a faded coat, carrying a foil-covered dish, and looking pleasant as he puts bills into the fare machine. Don't ask what, but something about this man makes the woman pause...and want to cry.

Here she is, fairly grumpy over having been left by the previous bus, sitting with her warm cup of expensive and unnecessary coffee, taking the bus with a bus pass that costs her absolutely nothing except bearing the title of "graduate student," which means she probably works way less and gets paid way more than the man she has just encountered. Doesn't she realize that everything in her mildly enviable life has been handed to her? Money to spend on frivolous things, the option for laziness at work, a car, clothes, friends, a family that cares, an education.

I think of a song that came out years ago by Everlast called "What it's Like." It states, very wisely..."You know where it ends it usually depends on where you start." So true, so true.

Actually...let me pause there and reflect on that statement a little bit more. Excuse the tangent:

• This is true for your socioeconomic standing. I (the one on the bus with the coffee in case you didn't notice) was born into a suburbian family, grew up with suburbian money, went to suburbian schools, long to live in a suburb again - basically, I was fortunate enough to begin with more than I needed for life. Other people are born into different situations - poor parents give birth to poor babies who grow up with in resource-poor homes and get educated in poor schools, etc. A generalization, I realize, but wouldn't you agree?
• And what about religion. Recently I had this discussion with someone (I've had it before over and over again...) - a person grows up going to church or temple or synagogue or nowhere and tends to adopt the religious beliefs of his or her parents. I feel there comes a time in everybody's life when they stop and say "Hey, wait a minute - why is it that I believe these things I say I believe?", and upon further investigation they realize that they never really thought much about those things they grew up knowing to be true, never considered that possibility that they might be wrong or not the best possible way. But if people don't stop and think much about it...they'll often just jump back on and say "Well, it seems to be working okay, so I'll just keep doing it the way I've always done." I know, this isn't what always happens, but often 'tis.

Back to the point.

Instead of having a cushy life like our ungrateful "heroine," the man on the bus probably has worked hard all day, all his life. He probably is satisfied with the warm food he hungrily sniffs through the foil as he takes his seat on the bus. He probably is looking forward to arriving home so he can eat his hard-earned food - he hasn't been disillusioned into demanding that he eat it on the bus right then and there or been spoiled into being able to waltz into a talk about a line of work that has nothing to do with his own to grab coffee and cookies at 4 in the afternoon on any given day (I was cookie-filled because I went to a talk on predator-prey relationships between a few species in the Rocky Mountains...and there were cookies so of course I HAD to eat some). He has so much less, but he is wonderfully content. Not only that, but he is satisfied with himself because he knows he has done good work and has done it with integrity.

So, that's "the way it is" that was revealed to me on Monday. So what? Well, I was overcome with guilt about my disgusting ability to take everything for granted, for one. But, I realized it wasn't really enough to KNOW that unless it spurred some sort of change so I won't have to feel that way again. And so, in the end, I was stuck. Because what am I supposed to do? Work diligently, sure. But what else? Give away everything I own? Help inner-city kids with their schoolwork? Not drink coffee? Not eat cookies?

Is it possible to truly ENJOY the luxuries of life when you know you don't deserve them? I often would have answered that the answer is just the opposite - you enjoy them more when you DO realize that you don't deserve them. But what about that GUILT, that overwhelming sense of "this is not fair - I should not be enjoying myself when there are so many people suffering"?

That's the end of that thought. In the end, I supposed I decided not to think about it anymore. More questions than answers. And no, I didn't suddenly become disciplined and 100% productive at every moment at work.

PART TWO:
One thing I really do not like about the internet is that people who communicate on it are very capable of not telling you so very much about themselves. For example, it drives me nuts when I find out from a website that something is deeply troubling somebody I care about, but they fail to mention what that deeply troubling thing is. Such is the case right now. It makes me worry and have a vey active imagination all of a sudden. "Maybe this happened, and that led to this - and then (oh no!) x, y, z occurred!!" or "Well, I'm sure whatever it is really isn't that bad, because if it was, the person would explain it more or at least call me and tell me about it." or "I wonder if I did something to make this person deeply troubled. Oh dear. What could I have done? How ever can I fix it if I don't know what I did?"

Probably when people do this online the rest of the story is known by the people who have caused the deep troubling (although sometimes I can't be too sure, since I've been involved in cases when one party is utterly oblivious to the other party's upsettedness), and they're just telling those people that they're upset. It's like an inside joke. But it's not a joke. It's serious. An inside-out joke?

knitstuff

Lots of fun working on the Starry Night sweater this week, especially as it has gotten cold (and then gotten warmer again, but it's chilly at night). I'm currently about halway done with the chest chart, which means nearly 75% of the front and back are finished. Doing some cheap math, I figure that's about 37.5% complete. Doesn't seem so great, to tell the truth. Suppose I'd better just keep on knitting!!

However, I started a gift for a friend that I gotta get done soon, so I will be working diligently on that instead. It shouldn't be too much work - it's a garter stitch scarf, but it still requires work. I wager I could get it done by the end of the weekend if I gave it some effort. I lost lots of time that could have been used for knitting it yesterday when an annoying series of events occurred...the bus I take during Standard Time (because it's dark and scary when I get dropped off on the regular bus) drove past me at 7:40p.m., which was already 15 minutes after it was supposed to stop and pick me up. The next bus wasn't due for another 40 minutes, so I stomped back to where the Daylight Savings Time bus picks me up, which happens to be right in front of a Starbucks. Being that I was angered at the unstopping bus and that it was Halloween and distinctly autumn, I dropped in for an overpriced pumpkin spice latte to soothe me. As soon as I stepped out of Sbucks, the DST bus arrived, and so I had to hold the latte on the ride home instead of using my hands for knitting. In the end, the latte did me good, and it was involved in another series of events within my head that I'll discuss later...

I'm thinking about stopping all work on the Monk Bag. A few other people have told me what a waste of time it is to knit. I do need a new bag, however, since mine is falling apart in several places. Guess I gotta pull out the sewing machine and fix up the current bag and wait for bag-making (or buying?) inspiration or motivation.

being passionate

There are a couple things about which I am passionate. I don't just like these things, I love them:

• Learning. There are a few subjects I don't have much interest in learning about, but there are far more that I do. They are various and sundry. Many have a lot to do with science.
• Eating with family or friends. I'm not talking about coffee and danishes, although that's pretty good, too. I mean a FEAST, like at Thanksgiving. Where you sit down with lots of warm, good-smelling, filling food, and you stay sitting for a long, long time. It's not the food that's so much of the draw here, it's the being with the people.
• Animals. They are intriguing to me. I enjoy seeing them behave and learn and grow.
• Manual labor for other people. Digging holes, weeding, building, moving heavy objects, sometimes even cleaning - it doesn't matter, as long as it's not for myself. I could do activities such as these for hours and hours on end and not get sick of it. And I'd do them with stellar quality.
• Teenagers, especially high school ones. Like animals (although there are very significant differences), they intrigue me.
• Truth. I very much dislike half-truths, deception, confusion, and lies.
• Accuracy. Related to truth, I suppose, but different. Take for example, the incredible surge of emotion that I experienced when I overheard a woman relating to her friends a news story I had taken an interest in about a month ago regarding a large snake attempting to eat an alligator in the Florida Everglades. According to the woman, a boa constrictor tried to eat an alligator, but the alligator ate a hole through the boa's stomach and both of them died. I was quite perturbed that the snake's genus and area of origin had been significantly changed: in actuality, it was a Burmese python (which are from...Burma, or South East Asia, at least - boas are from Central America, or other boa-types are from Madagascar). In addition, as was pointed out by a friend who asked why both animals died if the alligator was able to chew its way out, it was the alligator's tail that was sticking out of the python, not the tooth-infested mouth. I had half a mind to go and correct this inaccurate reporting, but the other half of my mind told me this was a very ridiculous step to take, so I didn't.

Why these things? What is it that makes a person passionate about a certain thing but not others? I am NOT passionate about cooking or reading or even knitting, although I enjoy all these things. I am also not passionate about babies or children or virtues like patience and diligence. I sense that passions are very much inherent, that people are programmed by God to have certain strong likes and dislikes and soapboxes and indifferences. I don't have any evidence for this hypothesis, but it's what I'm working off of for right now. Perhaps one day I'll give this more thought...or I'll apply my passion for learning to understanding this exact subject; obviously, it's not one of those specific topics I'm passionate about learning about.

knits away!

Ahhhhh. The happy joy of knitting. I actually did some this week! And I'm so much better for it. If only I could figure out a way to exercise and knit at the same time - I'd be relaxed and energized all in one go.

I've tossed the other projects aside and have been focusing on the wave skirt and the *cheer!!!* Starry Night sweater. The skirt lived in my big purse all week, so it got knit on the bus. Once I found the sweater buried under a pile of clothes in my bedroom, I didn't work on it because I was too lazy to join in new yarn.

The skirt is coming along slowly but steadily. I still love working on it - it's a very lovely texture. I am using those hoop earrings from my birthday as stitch markers. They work great!!

I've finished the bottom half of the sweater and, within a matter of rows, will be starting the texture and color portion that will add the silhouette of pine trees. I'm very much looking forward to that part, and thus I am motivated to knit the rest of the boring back and forth part. I joined one of the new balls of yarn on the bus! Gotta remember to take those needles out of my purse...!! Potentially very ouchie.

And last but not least, the joy of knitting - and giving! I'm procrastinating in picking out Christmas knits for various people, but in the meantime I gave the Harry Potter bookscarf to my coworker who loves Harry Potter and basically every other book and movie that I seem to enjoy. She reads way more than I do, so it will be much more useful for her than me.

get a life

I admit it. I'm a Sims junkie. I don't know what it is about this game that makes it so incredibly addicting to me, but I totally love it. I attribute it, in part, to my love for writing, for creating imaginary lives. With the Sims, I can see these paper-lives come to...well, digital-life at least.

My current Sims "project" is a variation on the "legacy challenge" generated by other Sims fans. The original challenge was to start with a person, have that person live and marry and have kids, etc., and have that family continue for 10 generations. You get points for various accomplishments and lose points for letting bad things happen. I'm not so much into such competition, but I decided it would be fun to at least play the game without cheating. :-) It's very easy to give your struggling Sims some extra money with a few pushes of buttons, and money means a lot in Sim world, although not everything.

Thus far, I started Mr. Jimmy Sanders out. Okay, so actually I cheated to get him "started". I wanted him to have a college education because that allows for some extra career options and SHOULD have also given a few other nice perks, but of course my cheating backfired and the added perks didn't get added because I was using outdated cheating software. Anyhow, Jimmy thus is a messed up character who lives for fun. Sims can have one of 6 different aspirations. Jimmy's is "Pleasure" which entails things like...juggling...stargazing...playing video games...going dancing. But, since I cheated, his life-long aspiration, for which he receives a lot of happiness-points, is to reach the top of the Law Enforcement career path. Jimmy married a great lady named Mackenzie. She's got a great job - a Professional Party Guest. Yeah...realistic, right? Unfortunately, Mackenzie's life-long goal is to marry off 6 children. This means that Jimmy and Mackenzie need to HAVE 6 children, which is a lot of kids, especially when you aren't super-rich to start with, as is the case with this lovely couple.

Through many, many hours of playing, a couple game-crashes, and at least one program glitch, I've managed to get Jimmy and Mackenzie to turn out fairly happy, live in a 5-bedroom home, own a car, and have 5 of their 6 planned children. (It got too crazy after 5. They're going to wait for a while.) Right now the children are...

• Adam - he's a teenager but will go to college in a matter of Sim-hours. Current aspiration = Knowledge.


• Brittany - also a teenager. Aspiration = Family


• Cara - teenager. Aspiration = Romance, which is my most disliked aspiration. I hope she changes it in college.


• Cora - Cara's twin sister. She's a little slow... Aspiration = Family. And let me just say, when Cara and Cora were born, Brittany was still a toddler, and life was INSANE!!! As a real-life application, having 3 under-5-year-olds in a household is really NOT a good idea (I would guess).


• Danielle - a child right now. Chidren's aspirations are just to grow up.

I know this is totally useless and boring for many of you, but...hey, it's my blog.

not much knitting

Haven't done much knitting, really.

I took the skirt on the bus today because I couldn't find the Starry Night sweater; got about one round done. Woo hoo - not.

I sewed up the wine cozy in time for the shower and decided it was pretty much a knitting disaster. I had somehow dropped a couple stitches way back within the first 2 inches - it it's 8+ inches long. Uuuugh! I "fixed" it with crazy sewing techniques, added some cute beads, and hoped that nobody would really notice that I had made anything. Nobody did.

I was inspired by I don't know what to knit Christmas gifts for about 30 people I know. I'm attempting to figure out who will get what and whether I'll realistically have enough time to get it all done in time for the holidays - especially with the Starry Night sweater's completion also a goal for Christmas. I need a day off - to do nothing but KNIT! Miss it.

at...home?

This weekend I travelled to Kentwood, Michigan, my hometown, mostly to attend Amber's bridal shower, but also to spend time with my parents, at whose house I stayed. For most of my life, this has been home, and it's always been where I wanted to settle when I "grow up." However, as I completed my drive from Pittsburgh to the Grand Rapids area, a novel thought hit me. I could settle down in Grand Rapids. But I would be perfectly happy settling down somewhere else, too. This has NEVER happened before. Normally trips "home" are very difficult for me, because I just want to stay there forever. So this was quite a big step, if you want to think of it that way. I guess I'm just realizing that there's more to life than my dreams. Sure, it's good to have dreams and ambitions and goals, but one must also allow for God's direction. Maybe He doesn't want me in GR. Who am I to argue and whine, "But I want to live there!"?

I still really like Kentwood, though. I visited the Kentwood Ice Arena, where I began my hockey career. It was cool to see 16 and under girls playing there now as a travel team - to think that I was part of the team that led to their existance! While many things, like the ice arena, are staying the same, much is also changing. A huge shopping center has sprung up right by the high school, and the high school itself is going through major renovations. And then...old friends are getting married or are in the midst of being happily or unhappily married. "Change is the only constant" - so true. Just have to learn to like change!

Even my mom's interests are changing. One of her new hobbies is kayaking. She took me kayaking on Friday afternoon down the Flat River. BEAUTIFUL! It was a perfect autumn day, not too cold, not too warm. The river could have been a little bit deeper, but we were still able to go through the part we wanted without having to get out of the boats. Mom and I rescued two wooly-bear caterpillars who had attempted to commit suicide by leaping into the river. We saw snails and the remains of clams and turtles and kingfishers and great blue herons and tons of Canada geese.

Also on this trip I visited Ft. Wayne, Indiana. My good friend Sarah lives and works there, and I drove her down on Sunday. She gave me a great tour of the Ft. Wayne Children's Zoo, where she is a zookeeper. I there met a new favorite animal - the fossa, which I am now realizing is the "foosa" of the movie Madagascar, which I saw a couple weeks ago with my pals Leeann and Jimmy. They're a-maz-ing! Sleek, cute, mean-looking, agile. Quite a combination. Looks like a cross between a cat, a dog, and otter, and a squirrel. Also quite a combination. Here's a picture I stole from the University of Michigan (booooo!):

happy birthday...to me!

Yes, it's my birthday.

And what am I doing to celebrate? Well, thus far I have:

• Gotten to work on time


• Given a presentation about malaria


• Dashed to the post office when I realized my VISA payment is due tomorrow (where an old man cut in front of me!)


• Ate left-over pizza

The point is...it's just another day.

My charming coworkers got me a cookie cake, a fellow grad student in my lab got me a cute teddy bear and some earrings (one pair of which would make great stitch markers for knitting!), and another coworker got me a devotional/meditiations book (which I can already tell has great wisdom!). My brother called me last night to say happy birthday, Daddy emailed me to say the same, and I've gotten cards from the grandparents. Last weekend I purchased an early birthday present with some birthday money - it's lame, I know, but it's the latest expansion pack for The Sims 2. I'm totally addicted to this game...I try to play it in moderation (actually, I haven't played it in months, but when I get into it...I could be gone for hours...or days).

I'm finishing off my work at the moment, and then it's home...eat something...go to Bible study, where I am anticipating spending a great evening with my wonderful friends - and saying hi to Kevin and Jen again!

Yay for 25!!

the purple people eater and a strange combination

The knitting of the week...

Not a ton exciting here. Finished the knitting of the wine cozy.



I need to finish sewing it together before the shower Saturday.

My roommate Ren gave me some yarn she came across randomly. Blue and orange. If you're from Illinois, you know that those two colors DO go together. I'd like something else to go with them if I'm going to make anything nice out of the yarn. J Crew suggests pink (look on the left-hand side of the open catalog...yeah, under all that glare).



What do you think?

And here's finally a picture of the Harry Potter bookscarf. Photo-taking skills are really bad with this one...



Other than that, I set aside the Wave Skirt for a while - as delightful as it is to knit, the temperature dropped significantly over the weekend, so I'm not terribly hopeful about being able to wear it anytime soon (plus I need to work out making a shirt to match it and I'm having trouble finding the right color fabric; going to try to dye this weekend!). Instead, it's been the Starry Night sweater on the forefront. It's getting there.

newlyweds

They're back!!

I got a call from the new Mrs. Jennifer Tan last night - she and Kevin are back in the U S of A! Hooray!!

Incidentally, on Friday I got my photos developed from their wedding.

Miss Jen getting dressed.

The "altar" on the beach.

You may kiss the bride. ...And there's a lot of sunlight giving a weirdness to the photo...

A bunch of us from Pittsburgh - see the Good Bias shrug I'm sporting!! Yay!

Jen and me.

Ruth (not me) taking a picture of the newlyweds.

And, after a long, fun reception full of crazy dancing...

Ruth and Tim's one year anniversary night at the beachouse where all the groomsmen stayed. Awww.

pictures are back

I have a really bad habit of not ever developing film. I don't tend to take a whole lot of pictures, so by the time a roll is finished in the camera I can't remember what I even took pictures of! So it was certainly exciting when I got three rolls of film developed all at once.

What did I find on these rolls of film...? (Just a warning, the formatting is totally messed if you view this with Firefox.)

My sister's high school graduation - celebrating with our grandparents...

...and Mom and Dad. In 2004.

My car after being hit by a deer at 65 miles per hour (the car was going that fast).

Saying good-bye to my friend Tonia (in pink at front) before she left for Boston. (I'm the one across from Tonia looking like I'm wearing no pants.)

Tim and Ruth's wedding in Harrisburg. (I am sporting a poncho I knit for the occasion.)

Beautiful Banff, Alberta, Canada, for the Keystone Symposia.

The crew down in Jacksonville.

My friend Savanh climbing at Cooper's Rock.

Me...er...knitting at Cooper's Rock. I did climb, too.

See.

Savanh doing the splits while climbing.

Zeke and Zoe kindly sharing a catnip toy I knit them...and looking possessed because of the flash reflecting off their eyes.

Can't wait to take more pictures...and develop them!

let down gone wrong

I must laugh at how life throws us curves, and sometimes good curves.

Yesterday was the day I've been waiting for - the recipients of the training fellowship for which I applied in September were going to be announced. My boss, after leaving the meeting where the recipients were selected, informed me that I had not been selected.

Boo. I had really wanted to get that grant, and I know I was up against good competition, but I still thought I had a pretty good application. I played it down, saying I hadn't gotten my hopes up very much, but in reality I still DID want to get the funding and, more importantly (is this bad?) the honor of receiving such an award.

It's funny how I revert back to the thinking patterns of my younger years. It was not a fortnight ago that I sat with my high school gals at the youth group I volunteer with and shared in a discussion about how girls tend to act like they can't be hurt. We say to the pretty girl, "Well, I don't want to be all obsessed with looks like you are," when in reality we know the girl ISN'T into looks, she's just naturally beautiful. Or we say "You don't like me? Well fine, I don't care, anyhow. You're not worth caring about." But we really are dying inside, thinking, "I'm not going to let anyone hurt me...I'm not going to let anyone see how I really feel." We build up these walls, we become emotionless, and that goes against the very nature of our being!

And, I became semi-bitter. I went through the list of people I was pretty sure must have gotten the fellowship spots. Yep, he's really smart, he should get one. She had good data; he's a good worker; she's got some good ideas. And one of the people I thought must have received the fellowship was one of those who's perfect. You know the kind - great in class, socialable, looks wonderful, has the wonderful significant other. The person I always try to beat out, not to satisfy some animal-like urge, but to make myself work hard enough to do better than that person who I think is the best. As I heard recently, "He/she literally made me a better person." Not that I'm the more stellar student or employee, but that without that competition, I wouldn't try so hard to do my best.

So I griped about how that particular person always got everything...I don't even know if the person actually got the fellowship, but...you know...

And then a funny thing happened.

I checked my voice mail this morning on the bus - I'd turned the phone off before Bible study last night around 7p.m. My boss, who is in Puerto Rico for work, had left a message and said that there had been a mix up and I actually HAD received one of the fellowship positions. I was pretty sure I had heard incorrectly since I was on the bus and couldn't hear so well. But when I called the voice mail again at quiter work, it was confirmed, and it's now official.

That's what I was so let down about yesterday...and now I'm not, so that's good. But the period of thinking I was let down sure brought up some serious issues I have, wouldn't you agree? ...All occurs for a reason. Now I must get to working on how to deal with those issues. Perhaps the real let down is that, despite my ability to achieve such awards, I'm still a pretty imperfect person.

P.S. My sweet friend Su-Lin prayed last night that a great guy would become a reality in my life. Isn't she timely? *smile*

let down #1

Don't take this (and tomorrow's anticipated post) as a sign that I'm depressed, because I'm not. Let down, sure, but nothing I can't get over if want to.

Today's let down is actually sort of funny, in a sense. It's about guys. You must understand that I am not one of those gals who is desperately striving to land a guy. It's certainly more like I'm waiting for one to fall into my lap (not literally). However, I do have moments of impatience, and perhaps this could be classified as one.

The let down is that it seems no matter which guy I take an interest in, he's already taken. It all started many years ago when I ended up "liking" the guy everyone else liked, and everyone else dated said guy (which sort of make likeable guy not so likeable anymore). In the past several years, the guys I meet and have an interest in invariably get married within a year (friends reading this, don't worry, I'm not talking about any of your men!!). This recently occurred yet again, and it's not exactly a surprise anymore, just an annoyance.

There are a few things that might be learned from this:

1. It could be possible that I prematurely "like" guys - if I don't know them well enough to know that they're seriously dating someone, then I probably don't know them well enough to know if I actually like them, right? That one's up for debate. I could argue both sides right here, but that would be boring.

2. At the very least, I can be encouraged that I'm interested in guys who actually ARE good guys - at least in the opinion of one other female in the world. It could be worse - I could be attracted to guys who I then find out are horrible and aren't worth liking.

Those are my thoughts. I'm not terribly let down, but I do wonder when (if?) a guy will happen upon my life who fits all my desired traits of a man of God...and is available.

adjusting my needles

This weekend I decided to start the Wave Skirt. This required moving the Aran sweater onto different needles so I could use the cable on which it has been hanging out. At first I thought I'd pick up another set of 4's for a dollar at Target to put the sweater on, but when I went to Target to buy them, I realized that they aren't really 4's! They're more like 2's... In the end it was all fine because they Aran sweater wasn't even ON 4's to begin with, it was on 5's. I eventually made the transfer onto the other needles, whisked away the cable, and cast on the Wave Skirt...!

It's fun!!! It makes me want to wear a skirt. It makes me want to get new stitch markers because the ones I'm using are big and are making there be holes that can eventually be fixed, but it's annoying right now. It makes me happy about balling yarn, because it's so easy to toss the big pink ball into my huge purse and take the skirt-in-progress on the bus and I don't have to battle with the tangled yarn like I have been doing with the Starry Night pullover's yarn that is NOT in balls... It, thus, makes me want to even more get a ball winder.

The present for the upcoming bridal shower is nearing completion (which is good, since the bridal shower is about 10 days away), although I threw it aside in the middle of the week because the stupid stitches kept falling off the needle and I eventually had to spend an evening correcting all the fallen stitches this caused further down the work. Blah! Fixing furry yarn isn't so fun.

I keep debating whether I should buy some yarn to make a Weasley sweater. However, just as I was leaning towards "YES!" I got word from a good friend that relatives of one of his coworkers had been hit by Hurricane Katrina, and everything of value in their home in New Orleans had been looted, including all their clothing, which would have otherwise survived the hurricane in their dry upper story. Now I'm thinking I'd rather spend the yarn money on clothes for these people. Probably will hit the store tonight to go on a shopping spree for...not me! I'm convinced that this will be much more relaxing than shopping for clothing for myself, since nothing ever fits me.

a new season of hockey

Hooray! It has officially begun!

On Saturday my team and I played our first ice hockey game of the year. We won - hooray! I am splitting the ice time 50/50 with our other goalie, Missy. She did very well and let no goals in, whereas I found myself knowingly being screened, distracted by this fact, and suddenly realized the puck was being shot, and I totally missed it. So the other team scored one goal. We stil won, but OOOOH did I want a shut-out!

Bad news when I put on my equipment. The palm of my blocker is now nearly completely non-existant, so I am going to get it re-palmed hopefully tomorrow. Not only that, but some of the lacing is now coming out. I don't think the whole things really needs to be replaced, but it is starting to show its age... I've had that since I started playing in 1996, and it even then it had already been through one previous owner. I'm going to go on a semi-reluctant shopping trip someday soon to dump a bunch of money into some new equipment. Sadly, ice hockey is not a sport for the faint of pocketbook. A new helmet and catcher will cost me somewhere around $300 to $500 dollars (could be even more if I had the money to spend on such things). A new blocker would add another $250 at least, but repalming it will only be about $50, so I'm going to try to fix the lacing instead.

Good thing I decided to not try to go on my Mexican vacation - I have a good chunk of money set aside that was originally designated for that and can now be used for good ol' hockey. Perhaps not quite as relaxing or warm as the Mexican Carribbean, but at least hockey is fun!

what do you do when...?

What do you do when work isn't going well - AT ALL - and you're getting frustrated and confused and downhearted? What do you do when you're afraid people are going to think - or realize - that you don't have a clue what you're doing and you're making stupid choices and not working very hard?

Such was the case not too long ago as I walked down the hall at the lab. Nothing is going right, despite my best efforts even the "simple" experiments aren't working, and even if they were working, I'm not sure they'd answer the question I'm trying to address. It's sort of like how I felt this morning as I attempted to drive to work. I was happy with my discipline in waking up early so I could get to work at around 7a.m. Hop in the car and start the 3 mile drive. A half hour later I finally end up at work. I don't know if this is just a Pittsburgh thing, but it seems like the city enjoys closing roads without any warning (at least not any warning to people who don't watch television or subscribe to the newspaper - e.g. there aren't any road signs!). I was about halfway to work when all of a sudden in front of me is a barrier: road closed. Why? Not sure. I could go on the road driving the other way, and I had half a mind to do it, except there was an official-looking car sitting near the barrier. So I had to turn around and try a new way. In most places this probably wouldn't be too terribly difficult, but in Pittsburgh with its winding, one-way streets...it is. I was ALMOST to work via the detour when...yet again the road was closed. This one I had known would be coming someday soon - it's some celebration held by the University - but there was nary a sign along the approaching roadway to warn drivers that they shouldn't turn left onto the blocked road. What if you were not familiar with the town? No detours posted...no obvious way to get where you want to go... You would be so lost you would cry. One I find out to whom I should complain, I shall do so. In the meantime, this annoying episode shall serve as an example of what I've felt like about work for quite some time: trying really hard to go the right way, having the right way blocked, having no new directions, and having the new direction I choose blocked off, too.

So what does one do?

As I walked down the hall, the thought struck me that my value and worth are NOT dependant on what I do. It's an age-old truth from the Bible, but it's one I often forget. The rest of that truth is that my value and worth DO come from God. So, what does He think of me? He knit (yay!) me together (Psalm 139:13). He gave His Son, Jesus, to ransom my life (Ephesians 5:2). Jesus is on my side, fighting for my cause in the spiritual realm (Romans 8:34). God has done, and continues to do, so much for me - it is painfully obvious to me that He must, therefore, care about me an amazing amount. I can't really think of anything I've done that would have attracted the attention of the Creator of the universe, and I'm absoultely sure that I had no capacity to do so when I was still in the womb (the verse in Psalms says that's where He knit me together). Thus, I am valuable because...God says I am. I am valuable because God created me.

Now, if I could just get myself to live under this knowledge instead of trying to achieve value in some other way - through work, though respect of others, through "coolness" (yeah, we KNOW I'm never going to achieve that!), through success, through money, through good looks.

So, perhaps what I should ponder now is "What do you do when you know the truth but it's hard to remember it?"

pressured

There are many things I really enjoy about shopping for yarn online. First is that online yarn, even with shipping, is usually cheaper than in-real-life shopping. Second is that nobody looks over your shoulder and says, "May I help you," every few minutes when all you want to do is check out the price. Third is that nobody, when you decide to inquire about the yarn, makes you feel like you really have to, need to, should feel guilted into purchasing the yarn right there and then.

I obviously had a bad experience with this. I was in a yarn shop anyhow to pick up something else, and I decided to check out if there was any decent yarn for a project I'm thinking of knitting. The store person was very knowledgable in leading me to the type of yarn I was looking for, and calculated how much I'd need (which isn't hard by any stretch of the imagination), and then told me how much it would cost. It was a lot. Especially for a piece that, by its very nature, is supposed to be sort of dumpy-looking. I said, "That's expensive." The store person argued that any yarn I bought that was wool, as this was (part wool, at least), would be expensive and told me all about how it was worth it and all that jazz. Normally this is okay and I can just say, "All right, maybe I'll come back," but not this time. Store person tells me that there are only x number of balls that are in stock and if someone came and bought some for something else, there might not be enough for my project - e.g. BUY IT NOW!!!! I thought that was semi-good salesmanship, but also really tactless considering the fact that I was already concerned about the cost. Would it really be good for a person to buy yarn, paying three times as much as they wanted to, just because they felt like they HAD to? Would they be likely to come back to the store anytime soon? Certainly not, especially since their finances would be completely wiped out.

I chose to live in that fear (sarcastic) that someone might come and buy up my yarn (there ARE other ways to buy yarn, you know...). I purchased the little things I had come for and left and now don't want to set foot in that store again unless I am there to buy that yarn, because that's the thing with local stores: the store people remember you. They remember what you buy, what you don't buy, how much you spend. And I feel like I'll be judged by that. Like they'll say, "You never buy anything, don't come in here!" Perhaps they've never had a budget and had to take into account more than "Ooh, the yarn looks pretty," when they go to make a purchase.

Unfortunately, THIS client, for one, is not like that.

overdue

Yeah, so I was right - Harry Potter WAS overdue at the library, although only by a day. So was a magazine (also one day) and 2 books (certainly more than one day). Oops. I stuck them in the book return last night.

What have I been up to in the last week? That's what I'll attempt to address in this overdue update!

Let's see...

The end of last week was a mixture of a disaster and a lot of fun. Thursday was attempt number two to start an experiment with my mice, but it failed. But that was okay, in the end, because I had to present a poster for the IDM Research Day. Not too big of a deal. As you can tell from the website, I didn't win.

Friday was the IDM Retreat. As metioned yesterday, I knit there. I also participated in the Sedentary Olympics, a set of fairly fun and easy games that didn't require much physical activity. My team, Team Gupta, tied for second place!! And we won second place in the horseshoe toss and first place in the don't-drop-the-water obstacle course (I think we were supposed to get a prize for that, but stuff got a bit confusing and that never panned out). As usual I won one of the gift baskets that are door prizes. I feel bad for always winning, but I happen to put my door prize tickets into drawings for prizes that not a whole lot of other people seem to want - thus my odds of winning increase. This year it was a basket of foot-softening agents, which I had been wanting to purchase myself anyhow. How nice.

Saturday I went to Spring Meadows, a Christian retreat facility. It's run by a couple from my church and is loacted about 45 minuts northwest of Pittsburgh in a beautiful area. The 16-acre property has a pond and some rolling hills and a big field and a small orchard and a little pine forest. It's so calm and relaxing there, and Rosa Lee serves unforgettably wonderful food and beverage! This Saturday they were hosting a listening prayer retreat where participants spend time in quiet praying over selected Scripture passages and listening to what God is saying to them through the words. I went to my first one in June and was very excited to come to this second one. I had a great time!! It's so good to get away for a day and not worry about life and craziness back at home.

After Saturday it was back to that life and craziness... The first regular youth group meeting took place on Sunday night, and it was...good. I find that I learn a lot at youth group, even though I'm a leader and am supposed to be there to help "teach," not to learn. God uses everything, however.

Monday I served as a semi-informatant at a college fair for local high schoolers. It was neat to meet some other Michigan State University alumuni and talk to people about MSU. I could actually do that for a job...it was fun!

Tuesday night I went to the Pittsburgh Opera's production of Rigoletto by Verdi. My friend Craig was in it (he's a professional opera singer), and it's always a good excuse to go to the opera. Michelle and Lori went with me, as well as my friend Su-Lin. I was reminded how nice it is to spend time with people, especially my roommates, whom I actually don't see a whole lot of most of the time.

Somewhere along the line I ended up getting sick. I now have a non-terrible but still annoying cold. There's been some bad stuff going around, and I think that lack of sleep and a bit of stress wore down my immune system just to the point where a little bit of the virus could creep in. Good thing I started taking my vitamins again! Probably helped it from not getting too bad. Hope it gets better. My plan for making it get better involves going to be early/on time tonight and hopefully Friday night and curling up with some tea on Sunday while watching the first two episodes of this season's Arrested Development, which, while rather crude, is an incredibly witty and hilarious show, IMHO.

knitting update a day late

It's Wednesday, I know. I tried to write yesterday, but it was a very busy day that lasted very long and involved zero breaks. Thanks for your patience.

I finished the Harry Potter bookscarf!! It is now sitting happily in The Goblet of Fire, which is probably pretty close to being overdue at the library (along with 2 or 3 other books...oops), and I'm slowly making my way through it.

I started a new project. Maybe I should actually FINISH one of my larger projects before starting a new one, but...hey, I was inspired, so what can I do? I'm making a wine cozy - it's going to be part of a gift for the winner of a game at a bridal shower for my long-time friend Amber. Not that I would normally make a wine cozy for anyone, but I was standing yet again in the Target dollar spot and decided that the fuzzy novelty yarn really was cute and I should make something out of it, and then other things from the dollar spot screamed out at me, and before I knew it I had a romantic-candle-lit-dinner-with-wine-in-a-box scrounged together for about $5 (without the wine and the dinner...). I stole the wine cozy pattern from the dollar pattern book (why buy a book that tells you how to make stockinette stitch scarves and a wine cozy that only has about 6 rows of increases when you can easily copy down the directions on a spare piece of paper?). Thus, the wine cozy is my new bus project. It's getting there quite rapidly, and I actually like novelty yarn. Never thought about using it for anything before now, but it's sort of cool. Scarf, perhaps? I could be so fashionable!

Worked some on my favorite sweater, Starry Night, while listening to various professors explain their research at the annual IDM Retreat Day on Friday.

Worked none on the Aran, although I'm thinking about buying another set of $1 4's from Target so I can transfer that sweater onto them and use the needle cables to start on the Wave Skirt in the round. Being that watches are on sale at Target this week and I have been watchless since mine broke at the end of the Habijax trip, I may be starting the Wave sooner than I thought since I've GOTTA go to Target! :-) Perhaps while I'm there I'll bother to drop off my film to get it developed finally so you wonderful people can see photos of my "stuff."

compliments

I must say that the best compliment a person can give to a knitter is to say, "Wow, you MADE that?!" I've heard that a few times in the past month, and it's just delightful to hear. It means that my pieces look handmade but not homemade! It means I must be doing something right!! It encourages me to keep at it, to work through the tough times (like when I have to rip out the Aran again and again), and to consider making items for other people instead of just populating my wardrobe with knitwear.

Thanks, everyone, who has said that to me recently! It has made my day(s).

i love it, i love it not

Work. Ugh. Not my favorite topic at present.

Two things I do not love at work:

One - me. This morning when I came into work I discovered that I, myself, had completely screwed up last night when I put my samples in the incubator. Instead of filling the incubator with FULL tubes, I for some reason thought it prudent to put in completely EMPTY tubes. Why????

Two - my project, which, according to my "annual department review," has my committee "concerned." At least they're not (according to the report) concerned about ME, just the project itself.

What I really, truly, absoultely love about work is the cold room. This is the room that is kept at 4C all year round. Most people would just say it's cold and a place to store things that need to be kept cold, but I think I could spend at least a long afternoon if not an entire day in there. I do like the cold, but even more I adore the smell of the refrigerated air (I guess that's the smell). It's...refreshing.

a surprise is coming

Knitting!! Just the word is so relaxing to me...

It would be great if I could write here about how wonderful the knitathon for victims of Hurricane Katrina was on Sunday at the Knit One store, but sadly I could not attend due to a serious amount of work that I needed to get done that day. How I would love to knit with some others, and soon!

I at least have been able to knit at all, albeit by myself. Most of my time has been spent on the Harry Potter bookscarf, which I work on mostly on the bus. This morning, before getting off the bus and running into my classmate Derek who was walking to where his fiance?/wife? had gotten into a car accident up the street (! - she's okay, although car is not), I finished the third (of five) set of stripes. I'm still not the world's best jogless jogger, nor am I especially skilled at counting to 16 (I have a row or two more than 16 between a couple stripe sets...), but at least the scarf is looking all right. I'm also encouraged that I am learning how to use the small yarn/thread and needles employed by this tiny project. When I first started, I thought the microscopic materials were most difficult to work with, but now it's not problem. Hooray for progress!

I was very happy to get some time to knit on Saturday afternoon. I put all my projects in a basket, took it down to my favorite chair in the living room and pulled out whatever suited my fancy at the moment. I worked a little bit on the Starry Night pullover and the bookscarf. OOH - and I also created a special surprise for some special people who shall remain nameless until they actually receive what I knit for them. Exciting (to me, at least)!

Other than that, my "knitting time" has mostly consisted of attempting to transform my hanks of Cotton Fleece into center-pull balls, which has taken on average of about 1.5 hours per hank. This is NOT encouraging. Well, it's not encouraging me to ball more hanks...but it IS encouraging me to buy a ball winder and swift... My birthday is right around the corner (October 12), so perhaps I'll see what that day brings me before rushing off to order. Besides, all my circular needles are in use at present, so I can't even cast on the skirt that goes with the Cotton Fleece (unless, of course, I buy more needles...).

Speaking of buying needles, I purchased some bamboo 4's from Target's dollar spot over the weekend. Kinda just wanted to see what the Target stuff is like, plus I tend to use 4's a lot (I actually need 4's for the skirt...but certainly not bamboo straights...). I used them to make the surprise. Fairly okay, although I'm no expert in needles.

aching

Not to complain, but...

I've been getting stomachaches after eating for over a week...

I'm exceedingly tired...

I've been getting headaches every day for a week...

I went to a seminar on Wednesday and there weren't enough chairs so I had to stand for the whole lecture, and now my calves hurt either from that or from driving long distances on the weekend (I think it's the former because they didn't hurt on Tuesday after the driving, it wasn't until Thursday)...

Bleh...

I finally called the doctor about the headaches, which I never get, because when I ran my symptoms through one of those online MD's it said I had a brain hemmorhage. I was quite sure that wasn't true, but I figured I might as well tell someone with a degree in medicine to see if they thought it was normal to have headaches every day for a week. The doctor prescribed me some medicine that I actually already have a prescription for but don't take very much and am running low on, so it's good. No, I didn't take Tylenol or anything for the headaches - I don't do medicine for the most part. I guess I will now, though. I just want all this to go away.

Why am I so incredibly tired, too? We're talking ready to snooze at 9:30, 10 o' clock, and that's not normal (although it's probably when I really should go to bed) - and then I want to sleep for 12 hours! Blaaaah.

Hopefully sleeping in on Saturday and potentially Sunday will help me feel better?

a visit to the cape

This past weekend was wonderous! During it I drove with my friends Jason and Joshua 10 hours to Cape Cod, Massachusetts, to attend our friends' (Kevin and Jen) wedding. I could write a whole book about the trip, but to summarize...

The Cape was beautiful. Jen and Kev couldn't have picked a better time of year or a better day. Gorgeous sun on a calm ocean bay on a perfect temperature afternoon.

My dear friends Jen and Kevin are dear friends of so many people, and this weekend it was easy to see why. They hosted a FABULOUS authentic Chinese dinner for all their out of town friends who had made cross-country and sometimes cross-ocean trips to make it to the wedding! They were cool, calm, collected, their regular easy-going selves through every single moment of the wedding and its reception. There was never a moment that I regretted making the long journey to celebrate this happy occasion with them!

I got to see a bunch of old acquaintances/friends and get to know some new people. As I said, the newlyweds have an extensive network of friends, and it was great to meet some I had only heard of before.

I spent some quality time in the car with three great guys - Jason, Joshua, and on the way back home another Jason. Good times. Such patient young men - not a complaint about how squashed it was in my Civic or a "when will we get there" whine. I guess they're all adults, so such childishness wouldn't be expected, but you never know...

Hopefully I'll have some more pictures back soon, but so far here's one I swiped from Jen's maid Gemma - the whole bridal party of friends, family, and Jen and Kevin.

all systems at less than sixteen percent!

I have a few works in progress at the moment, and none of them are very far along...

1. The Aran pullover continues to get little attention. I knit a few rows over the weekend while riding to Cape Cod, Massachusetts for Jen and Kevin's wedding. I learned that knitting cables on a bumpy road is not a good idea. I spent more time sticking fallen stitches back on the needle than I did doing actual forward-progress knitting.

2. The Starry Night pullover is my favorite project at this moment in time. So soft...so warm...so blue. Worked on it several days on the bus. It's at the boring state right now, just stockinette stitch for several more inches.

3. The Wave Skirt still hasn't been actually begun. After colorfasting last weekend and waiting for the cotton to dry, I have been procrastinating putting the hanks of yarn into balls. I have one and a half of the 7 hanks in balls, but the first one took 2 hours to do because I managed to create a gigantic mass of tangles and knots in the yarn. I am thus motivated to purchase/make a yarn swift and ball winder before I proceed. ...But I need to examine how much money I have before doing so.

4. The Monk's Travel Bag is now on size 2 needles and seems to be the right-ish gauge on them. I need to work on it some more. Not much progress.

5. I cast on the Harry Potter Bookscarf (see Knitting with Laura) for the Weasley-a-long in relatively authentic Gryffindor colors last Friday after purchasing the DMC Perle Cotton yarn in a hurried visit to Jo-Ann on Thursday night. So far I've gotten up to the first stripe - row 18 out of 112. This I also tried knitting on the drive to the wedding and learned that knitting with tiny yarn and needles on a bumpy road is not a good idea. Again, the stitches kept falling off as I went to put my needle in the stitch and we hit a bump. But, for some reason, knitting with tiny needles and yarn on the bus is not so difficult, and this morning I was able to weave in a new color, knit a round of it, and jogless-jog after the first round. It's a nice, simple project that teaches me how to use tiny double-pointed needles and do that jogless-jog technique and practice my color transitions and provisional cast-on. I'm not altogether pleased with the colors I selected. They look better in some lights than others.

I took pictures of all my knits to finish up my roll of film, so as soon I should get them online next week after they're developed. ...I'm getting really tempted to purchase a digital camera...!

And how can I forget the best knitting knews! The new issue of Knitty came out! Yay!!!

dell and the disappearing file

I finally sat down yesterday to answer Part 15 for my training grant proposal - Long Term Career Goal. I ended up thinking of something to say that would please my audience and make me still feel honest. And, interestingly, when I got home at night and read through my daily devotional, I was struck by the fact that sometimes what I want from life, although it may be noble and all that, may not be what God wants for me. Maybe God doesn't have it in His will for me to be a stay-at-home mother. Obviously that's not the case right now, since I a)have no kids and b)am not married. And maybe He doesn't even desire me to be a teacher. I don't know for sure, honestly.

Anyhow, back to the point... I wrote three paragraphs about what my goals are, and I was quite pleased with it as a piece of writing. Saved it, transferred all my grant files to the USB memory drive, overwriting the previously saved drafts of all these files, and then went to a computer that attached to a printer in order to print off my manuscript and be ready to hand it in the next day (which is now...today). When I stuck the memory drive into the Dell computer there were three "ghost" files - you know, those ones with numbers and letters in the title that don't mean anything - as well as the files I wanted. I opened the research proposal file and the information-about-me file (birthday, address, etc.) and printed those, but I had to switch to a different computer that was hooked up to a color printer to print off some of the figures to accompany my proposal. On this Gateway computer the ghost files weren't there. I printed the figures, and then all I had left to do was print the Long Term Career Goals page and I'd be done. But when I opened that file...it was my very first draft of the file, which said essentially nothing and was only 2 sentences long. AAAK!

What I had done was type up the REAL L.T.C.G. file directly onto the memory drive, so that meant that when I overwrote that file with the ones saved on my hard drive (e.g. the draft...) the real one went away - FOREVER!!! I tried everything I could think of to find temp files of the real file back on my original computer, but no - the computer doesn't save temps of files on external drives... I tried to trick MS Word into finding the real file for me, but it wouldn't. I tried to call my computer genius brother, but he was in the middle of driving from Grand Rapids to Columbus and didn't have a cell phone. I called the school help desk, but they said I was out of luck and there was nothing to be done.

I gave up, ranted on the Knitty board, and sat down to the worst task ever - trying to remember what I had written and then rewrite it. I absolutely abhor this... Maybe it's the writer in me, but I feel like I can never recapture the carefully selected words I had chosen in the original when I am forced to recall and rewrite. So...for the next hour I worked on that and was finally satisfied. I checked on the Knitty board to read some comforting replies, and one person suggested looking in the subdirectory where the real file had been stored to see if I could find the temp file. I had already done that, but then I remembered the ghost files on the Dell. ...Could it be...??

I ran to the Dell and plugged in my memory drive and - lo and behold the ghosts were still there... And when I opened one of them...IT WAS THE REAL FILE!! Yaaaaaay! I was so happy, although also so peeved because I had just rewritten and the files hadn't showed up on the other two machines I'd been trying to find the file on... Still don't know quite why only Dell will let me see the temp files, but I'm sure glad at least on of the three computers I was working with did. (Any thoughts???)

Amusingly, the words in the real file and the rewritten file were about 80% identical, which just goes to show that I guess rewriting isn't so inaccurate - but it's still hard because it's quite a strain to try to remember the exact words used.

Happy me printed that last page of the grant application, made copies, paper-clipped them together, and finally left from work to catch the 8p.m. bus... Blech. I had just enough time to grab a bag of greens and a container of blackberries, hop in the car, and drive off to find a Jo-Ann before it closed to purchase yarn to make a Hogwarts scarf bookmark for the Weasley-a-long. Then a stop at Target for contact solution, the grocery store for milk, and the gas station for finally cheaper gas...and then it was definitely time for bed.

What a day...what a week...this weekend will be also what-a, as it begins (and ends) with a 11-hour drive to Cape Cod (and back) with a lot of great food, time with seldom-seen friends, and a wedding in between!

the sky is falling!

Remember how the ceiling fell down in the new room at work? Well, it's occurred again, although in a different room. Yesterday my coworker Ming walked into room 440 and discovered ceiling tiles (which looked severely water-damaged) all over her virus-testing equipment!! NOT good. So, once again it's time for the facilities management people to take a look into what's going on in this old building.

It's funny, I complain so much about the old building I work in, the old house I live in, all this old stuff...but I LOVE old stuff! It drives me nuts when great old things get ripped down, particularly rapidly by we silly Americans. And our idea of "old" isn't more than a few hundred years - what about thousands-plus years old things in other parts of the world? Obviously, for those things to have become that old, somebody somewhere had to say "Okay, well, sure it could use replacing, but let's keep it another decade...and another...and another..." I have to admit, though...new can definitely be good. Perhaps buildings and other structures really were made better back in those "good ol' days." As the saying goes, "They don't make 'em like they used to!"

fast, color fast - and some KALs

After my Wool-Ease find last week, I set to work swatching to get gauge for my next sweater - the Starry Night sweater from Sweaters from the Maine Islands. Only had to make two swatches - the first was on the recommended size needles and was too big; the second was on 2 needle sizes down and was just right. This is what normally happens to me. I don't know why I don't just start out swatching with the smaller needles...

I got out my graph paper on Thursday and worked out the instruction changes I need to make to get the sweater to fit me properly. Then, Friday night I cast on using the tubular cast on...and somehow for both the front and the back I cast on the wrong number of stitches - too many for one, too few for the other. Ugh. I redid the cast on and then did bottom-of-the-sweater ribbing and now am on the boringness of stockinette for 10+ inches. Hey, at least I can read (Harry Potter) and knit when it's stockinette! I do like how the piece is feeling - soft and warm!

I joined my very first knit-a-longs! One is the Another Weasley KAL in honor of Harry Potter. At present I'm probably going to make a small scarf as a bookmark for that KAL, although I am becoming more and more encouraged to shoot for making a Weasley sweater for Christmas. It sure is convenient that my first name starts with R just like the one on Ron's sweater...

However, I seem to be committed to the scarf-mark because Monday I purchased a set of double pointed needles in teeny tiny sizes, which will be good not only for the scarf but also for socks, which I hope to try out sometime soon.

I tried to find yarn for the scarf at Knit One over the weekend, but when I went in there, to my surprise nobody came over to help me, and all I could find was yarn too bulky for the scarf, so I left. I'm going to give them the benefit of the doubt and try again later - they're still in the process of getting things settled, and there seemed to be lots of people working on organizing, stocking, and even building shelves for yarn.

I also tried to find some scarf yarn while out to get the sock needles Monday, but I had no luck. I'm quite convinced that I should have been able to find something at Jo-Ann, but I didn't look hard enough. Too bad - the weekend and thus the sale is over, so I'll either have to suck it up and pay full price or...wait for another sale. If only I had given the Weasley KAL more thought a week ago, I could have purchased that on-sale Wool-Ease for the project. Boo.

The second KAL is the Black Sheep KAL. I read about it on the KnittyBoard and, having always wanted to do a KAL, signed up. I happen to have a semi-abandoned black bag in the works, so I resurrected that from a big pile in my bedroom. Alas, the curse of the changing gauge hit me as I re-began work on this seed-stitch piece. The few rows I did on the size 4's that the piece was hanging out on look so loose, I had to bump down to size 2's. I think it's better now. I can't figure out why that gauge changed, since I have been pretty consistent with gauge for many months now. I can't quite remember when I started the black bag, but it seems like it was after I had achieved a pretty steady gauge. Oh well. What is, is. The bag pattern is the Monk's Travel Satchel, which I ran across one day on the Interweave website. It's now published in a book.

And, finally, I worked on color-fasting the Cotton Ease for the Interweave Knits Spring 2005 Wave Skirt. Cotton tends to bleed a lot if the dye is not set into the yarn, so on Saturday morning I set to work first hanking (or at least my version of hanking...wrapping the yarn repeatedly around my outstretched feet...) and then soaking...and resoaking...and resoaking the yarn in hot water. Every single time I'd come back and hope the find clear water, but NO - some dye insisted on coming out after each and every soak.

This is the first time I've tried to colorfast cotton, so I'm not sure if this is normal or what, but I finally got sick of it and decided the color was better than it was before and the day was almost over (there were 5 different colors of yarn...each had to be soaked separately) so I was done. Now the yarn is drying (it's taking F.O.R.E.V.E.R. to dry!). And I'm sad that I might have to reswatch that whole thing, too, seeing the result I had with the Monk bag. Blech.

I certainly have enough knitting on my plate!!

laborless day news

It's been a week. I'm glad to have this nice, long weekend to...er...well, to knit and tidy up the house and read and do some work on the grant.

Perhaps the best news of the week is that our dryer is fixed!!!!!! It has NEVER worked properly since we moved in August 2003. It always took at least 2 cycles (70 minutes each) to dry a normal load of laundry because they heat just didn't exist very well. Now - POOF, just like that your stuff is dry!!! Will certainly change my laundry-doing habits.

School started this week. Not that this adversely affects my life. I only take 2 classes during the school year, both from noon to 1p.m. - on Monday it's talk about new scientific journal articles and on Wednesday it's talk about new stuff you've done in the lab. Not really a homework-heavy or exam-laden courses. Basically school starting again means I have a big huge hour in the middle of 2 days that I need to schedule my experiments around (actually more like 1.5 hours since the classes are in a building 2 streets over from my lab) and that the buses are packed full of students.

Speaking of buses, other great news -- stating Tuesday there will be another busline that stops at my normal stop and one other new one that will stop a few streets over from where I live. With any luck, this should cut down on the crowdedness of the buses. However, it also has the potential to be a big huge drag because it's possible that the buses will run less often. The new schedules haven't been released yet, though, so there's no way of knowing. It would make a lot of sense for Port Authority to publish the new bus schedules so people could know when to expect buses to get to work on Tuesday morning...

On Thursday I attended a meeting that I think I wasn't supposed to be invited to. It was for the church high school youth group, with which I've volunteered for the past 3 years. My presence wasn't completely uncalled for, but judging from the fact that I was the only volunteer there, I think it's safe to assume there was an error in the mailing announcing the meeting. Anyhow, it was good to see the students again, and I'm looking forward to getting back into the swing of ministry things again. This year some changes are happening in the ministry. We're switching from meeting on Thursdays to now meeting on Sunday nights - and there will be a new church service geared for younger adults (like...me?) and students on Thursday evening.

I'm trying to decide if I'll go to that Thursday night thing or not. I have a goal to keep as many weekday evenings free this year so I can work longer. I know that sounds obsessive, but I often end up where an experiment has some disastrous turn of events and I need to make a split-second decision to either fix the experiment and continue working on it or leave, slurp up some supper, and scram to my next commitment. I've been known to be an hour late for events because of this... That's not something I like to do.

I haven't been reading much of Harry Potter lately. I picked it up yesterday and read a few chapters. It's always amusing to me how I don't remember the things that I watched in the movie until they happen in the book. My brain isn't so good at remembering much as far as details of movies.

Last Sunday I made tons of treats. In an effort to celebrate 3 birthdays for people in my weekly Bible study, I made cupcakes, pudding, and cookies. I learned today that it was no wonder the ginger-and-molasses cookies turned out so bitter. I used blackstrap molasses instead of the dark molasses the recipe called for. Bad reading of the labels, Ruth!! But at least the molasses was free because it rang up as 10 cents more expensive than it was listed on the shelf, and Pennsylvania law says that the first item you buy that is incorrectly priced, you get for free. So I did. Even with the blackstrap the cookies were really good; I can't wait to try them with the right ingredient!

Last night, while knitting (or trying to knit...), I watched East of Eden with James Dean. Wow, what a great movie!! I've never read the book by John Steinbeck, but I think I'll have to. It almost made me cry at the end. I would highly recommend it to anyone who wants to watch something that makes them think a litte.

lost in translation

My coworker Yue Chen just came back from China (where she was born) after a month working and vacationing there. She brought back everybody's favorite - Chinese candy!! It's always exciting to figure out what the candy will be since none of us can read Chinese.

One new specialty that returned to our lab this time was a big bag of tiny one centimeter beef jerky cubes. Very yummy - sugary and spicy. From this package comes today's funny for Friday.

Ingredients: BEEF, SUGAR, SALT, PERFUME..."perfume" is pretty funny; I'm sure it means something more like "flavoring," but that's still not the funny part..POTASSIUM SORBIC ACID, and finally (and since it's the last ingredient, I hope it's safe to assume that there's not much of it) THEREDSONGISRED.

Yes, that's right. The red song is red - all one word. ????? I'm guessing it's more properly translated "red coloring," but it certainly did not come out that way. My question is...WHY???

Can't complain too much - the jerky cubes taste great!

aid and the media

Let me start out by saying that I feel TERRIBLE for everyone who has been affected by Hurricane Katrina. Obviously this was a devastating natural disaster, the response to which has been overwhelming. In fact, the response reminds me of what happened after the tsumani last year. It didn't take very long at all for citizens of the United States to start sending money to help people in countries they had never heard of before.

All this is well and fine, and I'm all for supporting ANYONE who has been affected by any disaster. However, it is astounding to me how certain crises apparently are more important than others, and I would venture to argue that a lot of this has to do with the media.

Take, as an example of the power of the media, the case of a missing person. How many people do you think turn up missing every year in the U.S.? Do you suppose it's more than the 2 or 3 that you hear of in the national headlines? Not too long ago I watched a report about a family in Florida who tried desperately to grab the media's attention about their missing family member. There were dozens of clues that would have even made for a pretty gripping "was it HIM? or was it HER?" story. Unfortunately, this missing person didn't "fit the description" of most other nationally-known missing people - she wasn't well-off and white. She was black. Infuriating, even to this Dutch girl.

So, what's this got to do with Hurricane Katrina? Well, it didn't take much finagling to get people to open their pockets for these unfortuante American citizens, whose country takes pretty darn good care of them and whose relatives in other parts of the country have the resources to support them. However, we're still stuck with that situation in Niger, which made a blip on the t.v. screen a couple weeks ago and then went away - we're talking 2.7 MILLION people who would be delighted to have some FOOD to eat on the ground and who could care less about salvaging china plates from their homes! These people have been living like this FOR A YEAR. How long do you think it will take for people to respond?