are you being modest?

Tonight's small group Bible study should be an interesting one. We are working through a study on 1 & 2 Thessalonians, and this week we tackle the first part of 1 Thessalonians chapter 4. This includes the verses that are the mantra for Silver Ring Thing, an organization I got to know fairly well through my four years with high school kids that is focused on educating people about the emotional and physical consequences of sex, explaining the value sex has, and encouraging abstinence before marriage. The Bible study lesson for tonight has many questions about these verses about the broad, sweeping sin of "sexual immorality". I have been being really challenged in this area over the past several weeks, and many a good resource has been landed in my lap as I try to figure out what God has to say about it.

One of these resources popped up the other evening when I visited the blog "Solo Femininity." If you follow the link, it will get you to the post from February 26, 2007, which is in regards to an anonymous survey conducted by "The Rebelution" about modesty. It was very enlightening to read the results of the survey and to read what guys of many ages really want to say to women. I have sometimes longed for a completely neutral (e.g. no romantic attraction whatsoever) male friend who can give me honest answers about what is acceptable modest dress and what is immodest and makes it hard for guys to not think about gals in sexual ways. So far I haven't been blessed with such a guy, so I appreciated the venue of the "Modesty Survey" for opinions to be voiced.

It might seem to most guys that gals know when they're being modest or immodest, but I do believe that this is not really true. I think most people would tell you I'm a mostly conservative dresser - I'm really not into fashion per se, and I learned somewhere along the road to be conscious about how much and which parts of my skin and curves are showing. However, society and culture and friends and media and style sell women (and men, it's true) clothing and images and mindsets that perhaps don't SCREAM "sex" but certainly hint at it, and to me it seems like more and more suggestive styles have entered the market without people really realizing it. For example...I hadn't considered the significance of words or other things printed on the butts of sweatpants (no offense to Penn State with that link, by the way - I like PSU!) (and also I don't have any such pants, but that's because I thought they were just silly). It just seemed to spring up and be the "in" thing - but when I stopped and thought about it - I bet that fashion people and marketing people didn't think they would get more advertising by putting words on gals' butts. NO - they realized the words on butts would attract more guys' eyes, which made the guys happier for the attraction and the gals happier for the attention, and then all the gals without butt-words would want to buy the butt-words so they'd get the attention the gals who already had the butt-words were getting! (Or, for an alternative opinion, see here - has a few bad words, FYI.)

I also hadn't considered that most of the dresses worn in modern weddings by both bridesmaids and brides would not be counted as modest. That had not crossed my mind in the least, which is very odd. But it has also made me realize how difficult it could be to find a modest wedding dress that is appealing to my taste. The survey also suggests to me that I've got to find a new home (or some additional rows) for the Wave Skirt!

At any rate, the survey and the post got me thinking and considering what I wear and why I wear it - and how I act and why I act that way. And I was completely floored by the truth and wisdom passed on by one anonymous 23 year old male (edited slightly for grammar, etc.):

"There is One who is more in love with you than any man can ever be. You are incredibly valuable to Him, and you never need question His commitment to you. He thinks you're beautiful in the morning without your makeup, and He'll think you're just as beautiful when you're 80. He is Christ. You should treat Him with the loyalty and respect of a Husband. There is no need to attract a man to you - Christ will lead the right man to you. And when someone who loves you as much as Christ arranges a marriage, you may rest assured it will be far better than anything you could have done. You are His - be content there."

That's encouraging and very, very sweet, and also very, very Biblical. Now, to take those words and make them real in my heart...

And, I suppose I'll take this opportunity to say...guys - sorry!! Sorry for me, sorry for other gals, sorry that God made you the way He did. I will do my best to respect you more in the future!!