i passed kindergarten, i promise!

I'm not sure quite what I learned in kindergarten. I can't say that I learned to read when I was in kindergarten. I already knew how. Counting I was pretty good at, too. I can conclusively say that I learned several songs about Letter People and learned what small children look like just before they're going to vomit (there was quite a traumatic experience with this the day it was my turn to pick tables to get treats at snack time).

I decided this year to make some valentines for various friends, to remind them that I love them but not romantically. Aw, how sweet of me. Things made by hand are so charming and meaningful... That's what I was thinking. And then...

...And then I made one. I cut out pictures from magazines and printed out lovely little messages onto pink paper, selecting the graphics and words specifically for my dear friend. After a bit of thought and placement decisions and glue, the valentine was done, and it looked: AWFUL!

For it seems that I was either not graded on or did not pass the section on GLUING in kindergarten. The valentine that was supposed to say, "You're special!" more effectively communicates, "I regressed to age two and thought about you at the last minute and stuck a few things on this paper with chewing gum." The problem is that the glue isn't...flat, I guess. I'm not quite sure how to articulate the discrepancy between what I had envisioned and what actually came to be. It's like...well, if you tape two pieces of paper together - sandwich the tape in between the two pieces - then each piece is still basically flat, except maybe there's a little, tiny bump where the tape is. What happened to me is that when I glued pieces of paper together, the pieces became bumpy everywhere the glue was, even though I was quite careful to spread the glue evenly. Not only is it bumpy, but now that the glue has dried, the entire card is wrinkly!

I'm not quite sure what to do about this dilemma. I had such high hopes of making nice things for my friends, and in my mind these valentines are beautiful! Buying something pre-made seems completely out of the question now that I've invested so much emotion and thought into what will be on my unique valentines. Oh bother...

I suppose that if worse comes to worse, they'll all just get the Lik-M-Aid Fun Dip valentines that I stocked up on. Not nearly as meaningful...but they'll taste (and look) better!