ode to amber

Amber, my best friend from high school and college, is getting married TOMORROW. Wow. That's amazing. Getting married is one of those things you dream about together as best friends in high school. It's very unreal to see it suddenly unfolding as reality in the life of a beloved friend with whom I haven't kept in great contact over the past several years but who still graciously has given me the honor of participating in her wedding as a bridesmaid. I am greatly moved to hold up my end of the friendship bargain better in the future.

As mentioned before, Tuesday was a road rally/bachelorette bowling party for Amber and her husband-to-be, Dave. Here's a picture of a bunch of us gals - some are old friends, some are new, and that's really awesome!

left to right, that's sarah, me, tana up top, anna down low, adrian, and amber hiding

Today was the rehearsal, a dinner afterwards, and decorating of the reception hall. I got to know Dave a little more - I hadn't really met him before! I also had a great time shopping for some last-minute things with Amber's friend from Washington state, Tana, who (in my opinion) AMAZINGLY flew all the way here to Michigan to lend her skilled hand at decorating and thinking of details that might have been overlooked. There's not much that could be overlooked - Amber and her family have orchestrated nearly every minutiae, including something I'm extremely grateful for - getting us hair appointments and PAYING for them. Amber and Dave also have given out wonderful hand-created gifts for family, friends, and other guests - they have gone above and beyond what I think would ever be expected of them. (Kind of makes me worried that I'm going to be a horrifically rude bride if/when that ever occurs - I would not think about stuff like self-made wine or hand-mixed hot chocolate...)

A few words about what I should have learned a long time ago from Amber but what hasn't really struck me until this past week:

• We here in Grand Rapids are a Dutch-rooted community, for the most part. It's sort of a running joke that everyone is Dutch and grew up in the Reformed Church of America. This is totally not true about Amber, BUT the point is that part of being Dutch is being cheap, or as we like to call it "resourceful" or "frugal" or "wise." I think I am becoming very disillusioned by society or something - I'm leaning closer and closer to the "This is bad quality, even if it's cheaper; I'm not buying it" end of the spectrum. Of course, I still do most of my shopping at thrift stores, but I find myself wanting brand names and wanting high-quality materials. Not necessarily wrong, I know, but I feel extremely selfish and...just rotten about myself when I realize I'm coming to EXPECT this when my family and friends (like Amber!) are still out there looking for - and finding - great deals and not caring if all the "cool people" will approve of that item. I'm still so stuck in the high school mentality of for some reason needing to live up to the expectations of the elite social circles. Amber is so beyond this that I'm a total embarrassment in comparison!
• I take things too seriously sometimes. For instance, take school - college/university. To me, it was all about studying. Studying, doing well in classes, taking jobs that would help me get a position in my next stage of life, being involved in activities that would benefit me in the long run and look good on a resume or grad school application. I'm sure I wasn't COMPLETELY boring, but I didn't do things like go out to bars or parties or any other social drinking venue. I don't recall doing a lot of things for fun with other people (well...the planetarium WAS fun - seriously - but you can only watch the star show so many times before you know it by heart. Just kidding - I only went once, but it WAS a blast). Amber has fun. Amber had fun. Amber knows how to have fun.
• Amber also has confidence. I suppose I have always known this, but I really noticed it the past several days. She is organized (despite how our dorm room always looked...er...oops), she can manage others well, she is even-keeled. She has ideas and does things about them and doesn't worry what others think or say or criticize. As before, I'm still so high-schooly and wonder how others will judge my actions or if they will hate the way I'm leading them or what would happen if people see I'm doing a crummy job of making decisions or living out life. Perhaps this is because I myself am so judgmental. I'm sure there's a high degree of correlation.

So, Amber, here's to you and to your married life. I know I haven't been the best of friends to you all the time, and you've been a marvelous lady to me even when I throw temper tantrums and act like a know-it-all and won't admit when I'm wrong. For some reason you still like me, and that is quite astounding to me. Let's keep being friends, and let's be real with each other, and let's go together on this tough road called marriage that I know everyone needs support in. I'm there for you, my dearest dear. Just remind me of this blog, and I'll snap back to my senses and act like the friend I should be. I love you, Amber!