With the thought that I can likely "soon" graduate (estimated August 2007, which yes, is "soon"!), according to my advisor and thesis committee, I've been thinking a lot about my future these past couple weeks. What do I want to do when I grow up? Where do I want to be? These thoughts have taken me a few very intriguing places.
I love Grand Rapids, Michigan, near the suburb where I grew up. I would adore to return there for good to live and work. I like the schools, I appreciate the surrounding natural beauty, and I long to again be close to Lake Michigan. There's a splendid new cancer research center in Grand Rapids, multiple science-inclusive universities and colleges, and a soon-to-be-launched medical school. I would be happy to be a part of any of those organizations - or something else that I haven't even thought of. And I think that with a little bit of effort, I could achieve that dream. How? The plan: get a good post-doctoral position for a year or a few. Something that would make me highly attractive to cancer researchers or teacher-seeking schools. Perhaps pursue a teaching-oriented post-doctoral fellowship following that first post-doc. Then, move on over to Grand Rapids with my sought-after career secured.
But then I started thinking about how long that would take. Let's say I do the first post-doc for only a year. That's nearly 2009. Then the teaching post-doc...the one I'm looking at down at UNC Chapel Hill is a three-year program! That puts me at not arriving back in Grand Rapids until 2012! Oh my goodness! That's scary. It would be nice to be married by then -
- Wait, married?! And where do I suppose the person I married will fit into this whole picture? Is he magically going to follow me around as I move from place to place? What a drag! Plus, once I get married, I intend to wait not terribly long to have kids, at which point I'll quit whatever career I'm in, and then...it doesn't matter! ...And I might never make it back to Grand Rapids.
...So...is it even worth looking for a guy here in Pittsburgh? If I want to be in Grand Rapids, should I make a big effort to seek out guys there (that's rather humorous, because I never have "made a big effort" to "seek out" guys ANYWHERE)?
And hold on a minute - isn't this all just a tad bit presumptive? Stuff is going to have to work out very well in order for this life I've got planned for myself to really work out.
Thus...where I'm at now is I have no idea what I want to do, where I want to go, whether I care about guys or not. I'm all confuzzled about what's important and what feasible options are, and I wish I had a few more answers RIGHT NOW about little things like with whom I'm going to spend the rest of my life. Because...if that were set, then a lot of the questions about the other issues would be answered. At least...I wouldn't have to be making all the decisions. I could leave that up to my husband, who's supposed to be a decision-making person, after all, right?
Oh, My Future, I do hope you work out okay. I hope I like you and don't mess you up too much by planning for you now.
2 comments:
Tell me about it!!!!!!! It's the career thing that is blowing me away at the moment. How much time do I really want to invest in something if I plan on raising a family? And if I was planning on raising a family why the heck did I go to law school? *lol* I'm interested to see where God takes me and how I am going to get there.
PS - glad to know you're alive *lol* : )
That's a good question, which I haven't forgotten about. WHY am I doing this school thing now??? Most people would think I'm utterly incompetent. I suppose the answer for me is two-fold: 1. I don't know what's going to happen in life or when - like, I don't know when I'll marry and have kids (and I'd prefer to pursue full-time work in some sort of actual job as opposed full-time husband searching; that's just my personal conviction), and 2. I enjoy what I'm doing right now.
Probably still doesn't make a ton of logical sense, but I'm consoled by the fact that I know I'm not alone - I know multiple highly-educated women who chose to leave their PhD positions to be at home with their children, I know many of my peers who plan to do the same, and I know there will be more after us.
Also, have you ever watched "Mona Lisa Smile?" Julia Stiles' character makes a profound statment to Julia Roberts' character at the end of the movie that blew me away and put into words quite what I feel. Take a gander yourself. I was surprised by what I learned from that movie.
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