for health, for the earth...or for the steelers?

A short skit recounting an actual conversation:

(A green compact car pulls into the parking lot of a grocery store in a semi-shady part of town. The driver, a single young woman, has been duped in this area before by a pan-handler...and she has grown to dislike the lewd comments thrown at her by many a straggler on the street. Thus, as she parks the car and exits she is cautious as a man smoking a cigarette approaches.)

Man: Are you going to The Store?

Woman, continuing to walk to the entrance to the store: Yes, I am going to The Store.

Man: Do you work there?

Woman, wondering what makes this man think that he should be allowed to pry into a vulnerable young woman's personal business, especially in this neighborhood: No.

Man: Are you going shopping there?

Woman, becoming more wary of the guy as he is obviously not going to leave her alone and thinking caustically, "No, I'm just going to take a tour of the meat counter and then flirt with the cute baggers. Why else would I be going into The Store?!": Yes.

Man: Okay, I'm just checking because we're ticketing and towing today.

Woman whirls around and looks at the sign above the parking spot where her car is located. It clearly reads "For customers of The Store only while shopping." And that is what she is doing. She says: What, can't I park here for The Store today?

Man: I just wondered why you parked so far away.

(Truth be told, the woman had parked approximately fifty paces away from the entrance to the store. Not "far away" by a terribly large portion of the population, but obviously the man had a different frame of reference.)

Woman, with more than a little irritation in her voice: Well, I use less gas, create fewer emissions, and get some exercise if I park there.

(This is 100% true. It was actually what the woman had been thinking as she entered the parking lot and selected her parking space.)

Man: Okay! There's a Steelers game today, and we don't want anyone trying to use our parking lot while they go to the game.

(Well, that explains it - I guess. The store is within walking distance to the stadium where the Steelers play football. Not that the woman really appears to be going to a Steelers game...she is dressed in her Sunday best, having just left from church a few minutes before, and that is not typically the attire individuals wear to football games, particularly ones that are occurring on drizzly days. The woman walks away, enters the store, is disappointed to find that the store does not carry any organic yogurt - the single item on her list, which she was hoping to find at this store since it was on her way and would therefore be a more environmentally-friendly choice for shopping than driving to another store on the other side of town where she knows they sell yogurt that has been produced using sustainable practices. Feeling afraid that the man in the parking lot is going to see her return to her car empty-handed and assume she was lying all along about not trying to stealthily usurp the parking space for her own ulterior football-viewing purposes, the woman grudgingly grabs a package of (non-organic) cookies off of the shelf, buys them, and returns to the car to proceed home where she can allow the comfort of buttery shortbread to console her in her misunderstood state. Bleh!)

END SCENE