You know that poem by Alfred Lord Tennyson, the one that goes
I hold it true, whate'er befall;
I feel it, when I sorrow most;
'Tis better to have loved and lost
Than never to have loved at all.
It's from "In Memoriam."
I don't recall which movie it's from (perhaps "Good Will Hunting"??), but somewhere I heard someone on the silver screen tell someone else those last two lines, rather flippantly, and the listener sneered and you could tell he didn't agree with that at all. It is painful to love, after all. And it is very painful to lose love.
I wonder...what is the consensus on this? What do you think? Is it really better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all?
3 comments:
I think it depends on the kind of love and the kind of loss. Having a beloved friend or family member die? Then it's better to have loved and lost. To fall for that guy you knew was trouble from the beginning, and have him hurt you anyway? Not so much.
I can only tell you one side of the story and that's to never love at all really sucks. I mean you never even know what love feels like and so to go without seems like the worst kind of fate and pain. So sure, losing love is torture but I don't know many people who truly loved and lost say that they wish they never loved that person. They always after time seem to appreciate how their life meant something more because of that love. That can't imagine their life any other way. So anyways, I think the poem is true. And I think the people who believe in it most are those that have loved so that should tell ya something :-).
I agree with both comments. It's definitely worse to never love at all. It would be wise not to fall in love with those we shouldn't - but sometimes we don't have the foresight or ability to know who we shouldn't fall in love with. There is that great cliche "what doesn't kill us makes us stronger." I think it's important to love and lose love in order for us to know what our priorities are and to help us determine what really is important in life. Sometimes loss is the best mechanism for re-evaluation.
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